Christmas Memories
by janesbiotch
Summary: Patrick Jane gets ready for a big party at the CBI and memories of the past seem to be around every corner. Better than it sounds.


First of all I need to apologize for this. I wasted time doing things and got busy and then here I was with a few hours to spare and like ten thousand different ideas in my mind for a Christmas story. Well here it is and I hope you enjoy it. Although some parts of this story are really sad, I think I gave it a happy enough ending. Sorry all mistakes are mine I have no beta.

Christmas Memories

Tonight was the night of the Christmas Party at the CBI. This was an event that for the past ten or so years one Patrick Jane never attended. He always had someplace to be and no one cared if he showed up or not. Things were different now, and he was happy about that but he just couldn't stop thinking of the past…

_He was nervous. He couldn't believe the day he had. It all had started at his last show. He had pulled a man up on stage. A Marc Jacobs, a simple man with a sad smile. Immediately from his body language he knew that the man had suffered a great loss. His daughter Abigail had died that past year of Leukemia. It was times like this that he didn't feel so bad for the things that he had done with what tricks of the trade his father had taught him. All he wanted was so closure so he let him say his goodbyes to his daughter and he thought that would be the end of it, but it wasn't._

_After his show the man was waiting backstage and he asked to talk to him. Normally he wouldn't do such a thing but it was something about the man, something in his eyes that made him remember the kind of person he used to be before all the hoopla of being Patrick Jane. He found a quiet coffee shop and before he knew it had spent three hours talking to the man. He had told him of his childhood, about his dad, and how when he was only eight years old he had sat in a chair by his mother's bed and watch her die of cancer. That was something that he had never told anyone, and was one of the saddest days of his life. The man told him that he had a great gift and he thought that he should share his gift with the world. He past him his business card and told him to give him his card. That was four months ago._

_That was not why he was nervous. He was nervous as he sat in the ER of Memorial Hospital in Chicago awaiting the arrival of his favorite nurse. He was pulled from all his thoughts of Marc and what the night would bring when she tapped him on the shoulder._

"_A penny for your thoughts Patty." Angela Ruskin smiled down at her boyfriend._

"_It's nothing really; I just wanted to know could you join me outside for a minute?"_

"_Are you still mad Patty, I told you I was sorry about tonight, but I had to take the shift. We need the money, it's been awhile since your last show and well it's Christmas and Brody had kids. You understand right?" she grimaced biting her bottom lip._

_He looked up into the dark chocolate eyes of the woman that he knew that he would spend the rest of his life with and he couldn't help but smile. She had so much heart, and he didn't deserve her. She put up with all his crap and continued to follow him in this path even though at times she didn't like the lies that he told people. The biggest one being he was a psychic. He just wanted to make her happy, and because of Marc he could finally do that._

"_I'm not mad anymore. I talked it over with Karen at the Nurse's Station; she said she would cover your shift for about twenty minutes. There's something I wanna show you._

_Angela could tell that he was up to no good by the twinkle in his eye but she took his hand and they began to walk down the street._

"_You know that Marc Jacobs guy I told you about? He met with me again today; he has plans for me to do a show. He says that if it's successful that in a few years tops I could go national."_

"_Patty I don't know, you know how I feel about that I mean are you sure you can handle the drama that will come with a big production like that?"_

"_Of course I can, we signed the papers a few hours ago, and then I came here."_

_Angela took the time to look at her surroundings. She stood in front of a little house in the middle of nowhere. It was surrounded by trees, and she could see a tire swing in a tree in the backyard._

"_Patty?" she questioned but gasped at what was before her eyes._

_Patrick Jane was down on his knees in the snow, and in his hand was a little black velvet box._

"_What are you doing?"_

"_They gave me a big bonus, they have high hopes for me Angel, and I put a down payment down on this house and this, well this is where all my money has been going for the past year. So the question is Angela Michele Ruskin, will you give me the honor of being my wife?"_

_She looked deep into those blue-green eyes and immediately knew her answer. "Yes of course I will."_

_Patrick slipped the ring on her finger and kissed her passionately. This was the beginning of his new life, he knew from this day on he would love Christmas._

"Jane did you hear what I said?" Grace Van Pelt asked Patrick breaking him from his memories.

"I'm sorry Grace, I was far away, you were saying?" he asked hoping that he didn't seem to upset.

"I was saying that you better get a move on if you wanna get home and change." She smiled at him as she took her gun from her desk.

"Thank you Grace, I'd better get a move on." He placed his cup on his desk and walked towards the exit.

He had to get home and change for this party. He decided that since this one was going to be his first and that it was really a new beginning that he would wear something festive. There was no need to panic he was giving up his suit for anyone but he decided that tonight he would dress up and maybe even put on a tie.

He was leaving the CBI building a saw a Salvation Army Santa. He quickly took a hundred dollars from his wallet and dropped it into his little red bucket. It made him think of another time with another Santa…

"_Oh my god Patty, I can't believe you just did that!" Angela gasped when she realized how much money her husband had put in the bucket._

"_Why not, God has blessed us this year Angel, isn't it what the holiday is all about?" he smiled as he rubbed her extremely swollen belly._

"_I don't know Patty, they might think it's drug money."_

"_Come on Angel, get in that holiday spirit, let's go ice skating."_

"_Are you nuts? Do you know see me, I'm bout ready to pop, and besides I don't like all the looks of people looking at me." _

"_Oh they see what I see, you're beautiful. There's nothing more beautiful than a pregnant woman on Christmas. Come on lets go to a hotel and ask for room, let's see who dare turns away." He giggled._

_Patrick Jane was happy. He knew that Angela hadn't been happy lately, and that she concerned with what fame might be doing to his psyche. She said that when he got in front of the camera he wasn't her Patty anymore. She didn't like the man that he was becoming. He was going to show her he was the same old Patty._

"_You just wanna see can you make someone say there's no more room at the inn." She smiled which quickly turned into a grimace._

"_What is it? Is the baby okay?" he asked pulling her closer to him._

"_Yea I just think we better save the hotel for later, my water just broke. Are you ready Patty, I think PJ is ready to see the world." She smiled._

"_Oh I'm more than ready, but I think that little Charlotte is ready to become daddy's little girl." He took her hand and led her back to their awaiting car. He was about to become a daddy."_

He still had the smile on his face when he reached his apartment. It was time for things to be different. That was the last happy memory of Christmas he had in a long while. He had gone to a dark place after that. Of course he knew that they had to be happy Christmas memories since that one. After all it was his daughter's birthday. She was always happy to be a "Christmas Baby". Most kids you would think would hate that fact; they would think that they were cheated somehow, but not his Charlie. She just knew that she had to make her list longer so that Santa would have enough presents to give her and then there was the list that she gave him for him to get. If he closed his eyes he could still see her smile as she opened her gifts every Christmas morning and if he strained he could hear her laugh. He closed his eyes tightly; this was a new beginning his friends were waiting.

He took out he suit that he would be wearing tonight, he liked it a lot. His green tie was perfect, it would match her dress. He couldn't help the smile that came to his face when he thought about what to night would mark. It was going to be their first real date in front of everyone. No longer Jane and Lisbon, but Patrick and Teresa. He was thrilled; the past five months of secret escapades although they were quite entertaining he wanted to shout to the rooftops that he loved Teresa Lisbon, and believe it or not she loved him back.

He took a quick look in the bathroom mirror as the water for the shower heated. He could still see in his bedroom and the little Christmas Tree that the two of them had decorated two nights before. It was the first night they had spent together. They had been taking things slow just enjoying each other's company but with this time of year approaching again he couldn't keep his sadness to himself. He thought that she would understand, but she did. She hated Christmas in so many ways as well because it was the time that she lost her mother, but she could understand that it was a deeper loss to him because it was a day that was once the happiest of his life. He saw the shiny star on top and another memory came to mind, it was his first Christmas without her, the first year that there was no cake and no happy little girl with beautiful blue-green eyes…

_He didn't really know was going on, or did he care. He just knew that he didn't feel pain anymore. It was really not a good time of year to be in an mental institution. To have to go in a room with people who were literally out of their minds and watch as people came in bringing gifts and singing Christmas Carols to cheer them up. He had been doing well; Sophie Miller really was a Godsend. She was nice, maybe it was the fact that she was a brunette like Angela but she was the only one that could calm him down. It was she who had talked him in to going down and getting to know the other patients here and try to get some Christmas Spirit._

_Everything was going well. His roommate Michael's mom had brought him a new train and he was helping him put together the track. He really didn't belong there, he wasn't insane was he? That's when it happened._

_She was beautiful. She had come with her kindergarten class to sing songs for them. She had the same curly hair that his Charlotte had, and her eyes were that same blue-green color as his. Of course she was a lot younger than his Charlie that should've been the first clue that she wasn't his but to his shattered mind that didn't matter. He had her back. He was about to call her too him but another woman to his right called him and that's when it all came crashing back. No more laughs and crooked smiles, his "Christmas Baby" slept with the angels now. He quickly wiped the tears from his eyes and when he was sure no one was looking he took a knife that a careless attendant had left near some brownies they were cutting for the children. He would go back to his room and finally make it all go away._

_That where he was now, being pulled from his blood stained sheets, to be bathed and probably heavy medicated and watched for the rest of the night. It didn't matter, he had gotten his wish. Before Sophie had made it to his room he had gotten his wish, for one brief moment he had played in the snow and made a snowman with his daughter. For one minute he had truly known what I meant to be happy…_

This time he was pulled from his thoughts of an unhappier time by the slamming of his front door. He walked out of his bedroom still attempting to tie his tie and he couldn't help but smile at the vision in front of him.

"Damn it Jane! Are you really standing there not ready? You were the one that made me get dressed because you wanted to go to this thing. I was more than happy than staying here and watching movies but you insist on well to be honest I don't know what the hell you think you're going to pull tonight. Jane I swear if you have something planned to ruin tonight for everyone so help me…." She paused as she attempted to adjust her service weapon she had hidden under her dress.

She turned around and took a good look at the man that was standing before her. Patrick Jane. Pain in the ass Patrick Jane that made her crazy more times than she could count, Patrick Jane that was on the hate list for almost every government official and Patrick Jane who had finally taken down Red John and got the justice he had craved. Patrick Jane, her boyfriend. Oh she was sure that by the time the night was over everyone in the division probably would think she was completely bonkers, but she didn't care. She was happy, and when she saw him standing there looking at her like he was looking she was starting to believe that maybe he was getting to be happy too.

"Come here let me help you with that. You know if you wore more of these to work maybe you could tie them." She told him as she took his tie from him and began to tie it.

Patrick tried but couldn't keep the smile off his face as she stood on her toes to put the tie around his neck. She really was a little thing; she was so tough but so delicate and small at times. He remembered how close he had come to losing her when he and Red John met for the last time. He knew what he felt for her, and he was determined to take her away from him. That's what he wanted for him to forever be broken. He had to turn away; just the thought of how close he came was making him emotional.

Lisbon watched as the emotions danced over his face. His face, she loved this man's face. It had changed since the day she first met him. All of that sadness had made him get a gaunt and ghastly look to him. Every year they didn't catch Red John she would see it all over his face, but they didn't have to worry about that now. Red John was gone for good, dead and that was something she didn't regret. She saw him turn away and knew that he must be thinking of that horrible day when she nearly died, but she wasn't the only victim that day. She turned his head to look at her, she subconsciously massaged the scar that was at the back of his head, although she liked his lower locks she couldn't wait for his full body of curls would be back so she could run her hands through it. His eyes locked with hers and she could see all of that emotion daring to spill out all over.

"It's okay Patrick, I know. I know that this is a bad time of year for you and that's part of the reason you wanted to go out tonight. So let's leave all this sadness and pain here. Tonight we make new memories." She put her arms around his neck and leaned up to meet his lips in a passionate kiss.

Once her lips touched his all of his sadness of the day seemed to melt away. Sure he would always remember his family and miss them deeply. It was time though to make new memories, he had gotten rid of Red John and he couldn't hurt anyone ever again. Tonight was the beginning of a new life. When he thought of the velvet box in his coat pocket he couldn't help but smile again. Oh Lisbon wasn't going to know what hit her tonight when he proposed in front of all their colleagues. He just hoped he didn't get murdered before the night was through.

Once again I apologize if this is hard to follow. I didn't have a time to get a beta but I really wanted to get out there for you to see it. I hope you enjoy it.


End file.
